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Help! My Partner has been Having an Affair for a While Now


The turmoil and despair that comes with finding out your husband or wife have been having an affair behind your back is like a sword to the chest.


It makes you ask a gallon of questions about what it is you did wrong. Even worse, is the feeling of disgust, hurt, and a sense of unworthiness. You start to wonder whether you should go your separate ways but the thought of your kids derails you.

Dealing with a cheating spouse is hell on earth. Especially, if you discover they have been getting their groove on with someone else right under your nose. However, there are steps you can take toward achieving clarity and making the best decision for yourself moving forward.

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  • Take some time off

Knowing such an ordeal can make you all sense of thought, it is best to set some time apart to think and calm down. Avoid open confrontation immediately after you find out. Even though it is the first instinct, it is not the best.  Your emotions at that time are all over the place, hindering your ability to make sound decisions.

  • Do you want to rebuild trust?

As awful and as unforgivable as cheating sounds, many people on the receiving end of this situation find themselves at a loss. You loved this person, and maybe you still do. While taking some time off, think about whether giving them another chance is worth your while or worth the risk.

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  • Talk things out

This is probably the hardest part because every time you look at your partner, you are reminded of the dark past. Communicating will help you understand better the events that led up to their cheating. Ensure you talk about it when you are ready, and try as much as you can to keep your emotions at bay. This will help you make the best decision.

Communicate with each other and figure out the cause of your partner’s infidelity File/Courtesy
  • Moving forward…

After our long conversation, figure out if you still want to stay or leave. In some circumstances, couples who have been through this ordeal would want to give their relationship a second chance. For others, cheating is the one strike they cannot get past (the once a cheater always a cheater kind of thing).

In any case, in any decision you make, be sure it is done wholesomely and without external influence.

Essentially, a cheating spouse disorients everything that was once there. However, don’t let that situation sink you under. Things fall into place with time.


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