Help! I Still Want to be Friends with my Ex


You are bound to make a few heads turn once you claim that you are on good terms with your ex because most interpret that as not being able to move on.


Sometimes relationships end in explosions. That is completely normal. However, cutting ties is the hardest part. It takes courage and grace to move on after an ugly breakup.

While most people look to cut off communications completely, (like how almost everyone’s new year resolution is to cut off toxic friends) a few people look towards keeping the friendship budding. You know, the “I’m friends with my ex and other short stories” kind of scenario.

Read also: When is the right time to move on after a breakup?

This may not be a good idea in the long run, but you can keep it secular between the two of you. Here’s how:

  • Forgive, and try to forget.

I know, it can be challenging. Even so, ensuring you have no bad blood between you and your ex means you have to at least try to forgive all the wrongs and see past them.

This helps you to achieve a sense of calm and civil whenever the universe decides it is time for you guys to meet. Heavens knows it (the universe) is always planning.

Photo/courtesy: You need to try and move on from all the past trauma if you still want to be in touch with your ex
  • Set boundaries

Once you break up, things are not the way they used to be. They are not allowed to touch you a certain way, call you sweet nothings, and whisper reassurances to you. So, make that clear. It is important that you define the lines that are not supposed to be crossed to make it easier for everyone.

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  • Respect and communication

This comes in handy especially if the said ex has moved on with another person. You have to show respect not only to them but also to their new partners if your paths ever cross. Do not go trash-talking them just because things did not work out between you two.

Read also: How to handle breaks in a relationship

  • No more past, just the future now
Come to a mutual agreement on how you would like to operate now that you are not romantically involved anymore

Unless you want to rework things out, sweetie, the past is called the past for a reason, so let it stay where it is supposed to be. Do not start rekindling what you had before when you know it will not work out.

If you decide to still be on speaking terms even after you cut ties, be sure to stick in your lane; your new lane as an ex.


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