Friendships with benefits are the best when commitment isn’t an option. However, there are many loose ends to it that people don’t realize until it is too late.
These days, being tied down to an exclusive relationship can be ‘overbearing’ to some people. People do not want to explain themselves to another person but still want the benefits accrued to being with them. So, what becomes the option? A friendship with benefits. You suggest that you hook up with that male bestie of yours without any strings attached. Sometimes you decide it will be exclusive between the two of you and agree on one ultimate ground rule.
DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER! After this discussion, it is all systems go. You are thinking, what could go wrong? Well, some things could go very wrong:
- First, comes the feelings
You see, even when you decided in your book of rules that you wouldn’t fall for each other, life has a way of slapping you across the face so hard when you realize you are developing feelings for your friend. You always want to be close to them, you’re calling them to hang out more outside the bedroom until it gets so annoying. Hmm, yes, James. That is love all right. Such a dangerous place to be in.
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- Then the entitlement ensues
The irony. Friends with benefits should not be entitled to relationship treatment. It is the law. But no, James has it so bad, he gets so angry when you spend more time with other male friends, or when a random guy likes you and wants to take you out. So, if you are experiencing this in your situationship, just take it as a sign that it is going down south.
Now that Jennifer has made it clear that you should stop calling her all the time because you guys are not that serious, you are frustrated that she gets to pick other men over you. Jealousy is just but the icing on the cake. It eats you from the inside. The thing is though, not your monkey, not your business and you did agree to be generous without having to be in a relationship. So, deal with it.
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- The fallout
After all the bad has been said and done, you both get to that point of no return. So, what to do? You just gradually stop talking to each other. Even when you try to rekindle that friendship, chances are you are treading on thin ice because now feelings are in the mix. That is how friendships die and are buried. And to think you guys were doing so well? Such a shame!
Essentially, friendships with benefits are very expensive, like striking deals with the devil. Think carefully about whether you can afford it and are ready for the consequences that will follow later.