The definition of family varies depending on an individual’s perception, as some come from blended, adoptive, co-parenting, or any other family structures.
The detail discerned about family does not matter, but your feeling of love and togetherness is forever at the core of the unit.
Karl .A. Pillemer, a professor of human development at Cornell University, says it’s rare to find a family that has never been touched by a deep and painful rift.
Family is important, especially during hard times. Reinforcing your desire to enhance a close relationship with family and keeping together is an individual’s responsibility.
Mitch Albom in his book ‘For One More Day’ says, “Sticking with your family is what makes it a family.”
Estrangement mostly happens as a result of choice of partner, separation, and divorce, troublesome in-laws, the difference in values and unsatisfied expectations, as well as conflicts over money and inheritance.
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Estrangement is surprisingly common among families, so how can the injured parties put their differences aside and unite through the stormy and calm rides of life? Here are tips on how to bond after falling out with family.
- Letting sleeping dogs lie, rather than holding onto past mistakes, let go, forgive and forget.
- Be ready, by having clarity and comprehending why you wish to conform, you can seek a counselor’s help.
“Lay the groundwork and understand why you want to reconcile,” says Pillemer.
3. Be accountable, the willingness to acknowledge your participation in the estrangement is a milestone in your agenda as both parties played a role.
4. Don’t expect Remorse from the other party, keep out the idea that the other person will be repentant and apologetic, that approach is not a deal breaker in this instance. As people develop very powerful narratives and they don’t give up on them easily.
However, not every relationship is worth saving, as some might have been abusive, with no protection and professional help. In most cases limited contact is beneficial.
Just as the animated children’s movie Lilo & Stitch emphasizes family togetherness, as expressed in Lilo and her sister’s motto
“Family means nobody gets left behind.”
I hope you find your family back this season.
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