All Families as we know them have different dynamics whether it be how they show love to each other or how they treat one another. These dynamics are what characterize who the children of these families grow to be and how they perceive their families majorly their parents.
You might have had daddy issues or mummy issues. These two mostly refer to children who have problematic relationships with their parents. It could either be with the mother or with the father.
Several people I have met up with have these problematic relationships with their parents. Not getting validated or believing their parents don’t find them to be enough has been something to shutter their confidence in themselves.
The sense of not pleasing their parents leads to them becoming overachievers to gain good words of validation from them. This will see many become people pleasers even if it hurts them to do so. The fear of others not finding them pleasing is what creates this character in them
The thought of not being good enough in your parent’s eyes seems like a heavy and hurtful burden to bare. Parents believe in always being in the right even when they are visibly hurting their children. The parental pride of not wanting to be wrong is where parents do go wrong.
A step a parent should take is to build up their child’s confidence, not destroy it. This is by making sure your child feels heard. This creates a feeling that what they are communicating is important making them feel proud of themselves. It will also help your child open up and trust you more.
Another way is by concentrating on your child’s strong points. Not every child is blessed in the academic area but you could find sports that he or she has an interest in. Let them participate in them with you being their number one fun.
For young people as much as parental validation feels or hurts it’s important to realize your value is not measured by how your parents see you. validating yourself is the biggest self-love of them all. Love who you are and where you have reached so far.
