By Benjy Kwabe,
Father’s day is a day where we take time to appreciate the various roles our dad’s play in our family and community in keeping it safe and secure.
In Kenya about four out of 10 children are born and brought up out of wedlock without a father figure in their lives.
These single-parent families are consequently rising on due to high rates of divorce and non-marital childbearing.
In almost all African countries, the total likelihood of ever being a single mother by the age of 45 is quite substantial.
The rate of single parents in Kenya is 61.0% the second highest in comparison to Ethiopia with 30%, Malawi 59.5%, Tanzania 51.7%, and 68.8% in Zimbabwe.
Moses, a single dad living in Nairobi, says modern society is imbalanced in the roles within the family unite and that has caused third party involvement to be more prevalent in marriages.
“Most families tend to fail due to the lack of an understanding and sharing information of responsibilities within the family. Whereby you find that the lady wants everything done by the man in the house for the family yet still fails to be submissive and consultative to the man in family matters. Instead, most women would rather speak to their friends or pastors when there is a difficulty they are facing. Some resort to posting the incidents online as a way of seeking advice and redress”
Moses says social media-has instilled a notion in the minds of most couples to judge their level of satisfaction according to the social standards set online, more than ones own true feelings and preferences.
A major challenge that is faced currently happens to be this outstanding one since most people theses days would prefer having company on online platforms other than looking for company around them.
Another issue he speaks about is the level of desire has risen and the extent to which an individual can allow their ego to control and satisfy themselves is boundless.
Quite visible are the rates at which most people opt for social media life in its perfect appearance, while the reality of how they are living on a daily is totally different.
To Moses it is a concern, since most children brought up in single-parent families tend to have less care, trust or knowledge of how to form relationships with the missing parent’s gender in their life.
A 2012 pan- African study by two Canadian sociologists revealed that Kenya has one of the highest numbers of children born out of wedlock on the continent.
According to the survey, a Kenyan woman has a 59.5% chance of being a single mother by the age of 45 either through premarital birth or dissolution of a union.
Through the research, it was also established that about 30% of women in Kenya are giving birth before they are married.
Figures from the Kenya Demographic Health Survey 2014, show the national teenage pregnancy rate was at 18%
Further, 15% of all adolescent women had given birth and those that were sexually active unmarried adolescents accounted for 49.3%, a potential number for single motherhood.
The Kenya Integrated Household Budget Survey of 2015/16 reported that 32.4% of households in the country are headed by females.
This means that there is a great number of women raising blended families. Where are the fathers of these children born out of wedlock?
In the earlier decades of the 21st century and late 19th century, families were mainly composed of the fathers who played a key role of guiding, providing and advising.
The new wave implicated by the shift from whole family growth impacting the child’s development, has totally converted the ways of upbringing as well as the moral fibres of society.
It has been so since a large number of children born in the 21st century are from single parents, it has become the norm and imparted a notion in their minds of these children that they don’t really need a father in their lives.
The cure is for society to really uphold fathers who strive to take care of their families, provide care and security, instill manners and inspire the next generation to be better than them.
Fathers who know their worth hope to ensure a bright, brilliant, and amazing future for not only the family and children but also the society at large.
