Life. Seasoned with perspective.
“Men face silent battles that often go unseen, carrying the weight of expectation and failure in silence. This is a reminder that real strength lies not in hiding the struggle, but in finding the courage to rise, rebuild, and begin again.”
Dear Men,
Let’s talk.
These days, my feed is full of videos, articles, and motivational threads addressed to men, most of them trying to tell us to keep going no matter what. One quote that has refused to leave my mind says,
“Dear Son, until death removes you from this world, the reset button is forever pressable.” It sounds simple, but it carries the weight of survival, of starting over even when life seems to have burned everything to ashes.
A few years ago, a close friend of mine had what many would call a perfect life, a good job, a lovely wife, and children who adored him. Then, one night, it all came crashing down. A domestic argument escalated, words were exchanged, tempers flared, and before he knew it, he was fighting for his life after being stabbed. One of the wounds was so close to a vital organ that only divine intervention could explain his survival. That night, he packed his bags and left with nothing.
When I visited him a few weeks later, he was living in a single room. There was a mattress on the floor, a few utensils stacked in a corner, and a shared bathroom at the far end of a crowded plot. Yet even in that dimly lit space, there was a spark in his eyes, the kind of determination that only comes when you have lost everything and have nothing left but the will to rebuild. And rebuild he did.
Today, more than a decade later, he owns a home, has a new family, and smiles with a quiet peace that only those who have been through the storm can understand. He pressed reset, brick by brick, and refused to let that dark night define the rest of his story.
But not every story ends that way.
A former colleague of mine had everything going for him: a senior management role, a comfortable life, and children in one of the city’s top schools. When some of his colleagues were offered better-paying jobs at a rival company, he saw an opportunity. Without much thought, he tried to leverage his resignation to get a pay rise. To his shock, the company accepted his resignation immediately.
He later begged for his job back, and though he was reinstated, everything had changed. The perks were gone, the respect had faded, and the stress of that fall from grace began to eat him alive. Depression set in, and sadly, one day, he took his own life.
Stories like these reflect what many men silently go through. We rarely talk about it, but the truth is, being a man often feels like carrying a mountain on your back. Bills, family, expectations, and the unspoken rule that you must always be strong. Nothing shakes a man more than the feeling of failure, especially when he can no longer provide for his loved ones.
I once read a line that said, “Men can stay up until two in the morning, wake up at six, be broke, alone, and still believe that one day everything will work out.” Those words hit hard because they are true.
I know this firsthand. I started well in life, but along the way, things fell apart. My family went through rough times that stripped us of stability and dignity. Those experiences shaped me, sometimes painfully. I carried that weight for years, questioning my worth, even in spaces where I should have felt safe. It took time and faith to rebuild a sense of self.
We men like to appear tough, hard on the outside but soft inside. Beneath that shell, we bleed, cry in silence, drown our pain in whiskey, and show up the next day wearing sunglasses and a fake smile. Society calls it strength, but silence is not strength, and asking for help is not weakness. It takes real courage to say you are not okay and even greater courage to seek help. Many men break not because life is hard, but because they carry too much alone.
So, dear men, if you are in a storm, do not give up. If you have fallen, press reset. Speak up, reach out, and fight back; slowly if you must, but fight. The world is tough, but you are tougher. Let us normalise men seeking therapy, talking openly, and showing emotional resilience. Because true strength is not in how much you endure quietly, but in how bravely you rise after breaking.
So, dear men, when the dust settles, may it find you standing. Maybe bruised, maybe tired, but still here, still fighting, still hopeful. Because as long as you are alive, your reset button is still within reach. Press it, and start again.
About the author:
Kibisu Mulanda is a media executive and strategic communicator with over 20 years of experience in television, NGO storytelling, and youth-focused content. He is the Acting Head of Switch Media Ltd and teaches media at the Kenya Institute of Mass Communication (KIMC). A Certified SIYB Trainer, he blends storytelling with strategy to drive social impact.
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