NAIROBI –
In a small rental house just outside Nairobi, a father wakes before sunrise. He walks to a nearby mjengo site where he lifts stones for hours, hoping to earn enough for that day’s meal. His back aches. His hands are rough. But he says nothing-just wipes his face, returns home, and holds his child.
It’s a story repeated in thousands of households across Kenya.
This Father’s Day, amid rising inflation, job scarcity, and silent mental health struggles, the spotlight turns to the often-overlooked role of Kenyan fathers-men who continue to provide, protect, and persevere despite mounting pressure.
“You can’t afford to break down,” said one father in Nairobi’s Eastlands area. “Because everyone is leaning on you.”
Under Pressure: The New Face of Fatherhood in Kenya
Traditionally seen as providers and authority figures, many Kenyan fathers today are juggling far more than past generations ever imagined. They are caregivers, counsellors, cooks, and crisis managers—all while under the weight of a struggling economy.
The cost of living has soared. According to the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics, food inflation remains one of the biggest burdens, with basic items like maize flour, cooking oil, and sugar becoming increasingly unaffordable for most households.
“You go to the market with 500 bob and leave with two things,” shared one father of three in Kisumu. “It’s humiliating not to afford unga.”
Fuel prices, school fees, and electricity costs have also risen sharply. For many men, this financial pressure chips away at their dignity.
Suffering in Silence
And yet, few talk about how it feels.
In Kenya, men are often taught to “tough it out.” Vulnerability is seen as weakness. Crying is frowned upon. And admitting mental distress is rare.
But the statistics paint a worrying picture. Kenya has one of the highest suicide rates in Africa, and men account for nearly 70% of reported cases, according to the Ministry of Health.
The reasons range from job loss and debt to relationship breakdowns and emotional isolation.
“You carry so much and never complain, until one day, it crashes on you,” said a boda boda operator in Kakamega. “But there’s no one to talk to. You’re just told, ‘be a man.’”
When Love is Quiet
Kenyan fathers often show love in quiet, unseen ways-sacrificing meals, commuting long hours, fixing what’s broken, and staying up late to figure out how to pay rent. Their affection isn’t always spoken; it’s in the actions.
In many homes, a father’s presence is not loud or flashy. He may not write lengthy birthday messages or attend every school event. But he’s there-making sure his children eat before he does.
“Even when I don’t have money for lunch, I make sure my daughter has fare to go to school,” said a single father in Machakos. “That’s what keeps me going.”
Fathers are not always biological either. Uncles, stepdads, grandfathers, and older brothers often step into the role, especially in homes affected by death, divorce, or migration.
Shifting Norms
In urban areas, especially among younger fathers, a shift is happening. Men are becoming more involved in day-to-day parenting-helping with homework, cooking meals, and attending clinic visits.
Recent findings by KNBS show a growing number of fathers working flexible or part-time jobs to spend more time at home.
Still, challenges remain. Many men say society is slow to acknowledge or appreciate their efforts.
“Mother’s Day is loud. People post photos and write poems,” said one father in Eldoret. “But Father’s Day? It’s like no one remembers.”
What They Really Need
As Father’s Day approaches, many dads aren’t asking for gifts or praise. What they really want is to be seen-and understood.
They want space to speak without judgement. Access to mental health support without stigma. Recognition for the role they play, quietly and consistently.
Some community organization’s and churches have begun creating safe spaces for men to talk. A few schools have started including fathers in parent training sessions, not just mothers. And on social media, there’s a slow rise in Kenyan men sharing their stories under hashtags like #FatherhoodKe and #MenTalk.
But more needs to be done—at home, in policy, and in public life.
A Call to See Them
So this Sunday, before the messages fade and the day passes quietly again, take a moment to really see the fathers around you.
Ask how they are-truly. Thank them. Include them in conversations beyond discipline and money. And if you are a father yourself, know that your strength is not in how much you hide, but how much you carry-with grace, and love.
Because in Kenya today, being a father is more than just paying bills. It’s about showing up-again and again, even when the world gets heavy. It’s about building something out of nothing. It’s about hope.
And that deserves more than just a day.
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