Alvan Gatitu, better known to Kenyans as Alvan Love, has sparked widespread concern after breaking down in a deeply emotional livestream where he spoke openly about debt, mental health struggles, and personal isolation.
The former Tusker Project Fame contestant appeared visibly distressed in a TikTok broadcast on Thursday evening, crying as he explained the heavy toll life has taken on him.
“I am in debt of well over KSh 1 million. I have no strength left,” Alvan said in one of his lengthy posts shared across platforms. “Let them come with their tea, I think I’m ready to die.”
His words triggered an outpouring of support and alarm online, with many Kenyans urging the media personality not to harm himself and offering emotional and financial help.
Alvan revealed he had been moving between Airbnb rentals, now owing large sums of money to several hosts. One landlord even publicly accused him of skipping payment. He didn’t deny the claims.
“I was only Alvan, not Superman. I don’t want handouts, I’m tired,” he said. “Expose me now. I’ve failed. Shame no longer scares me. Carry me and bury me. I will find peace.”
Alvan’s followers, long entertained by his joyful energy and comic skits, were stunned by the raw honesty. In the same post, he hinted at family estrangement, saying he no longer speaks to his parents.
“Firstborns don’t go home for help, they bring help home,” he wrote. He also mentioned trauma connected to his mother’s home allegedly being destroyed by government action.
Another moment that caught viewers off guard was his mention of substance use. “Maybe that’s why I inject as heavily as I do,” he wrote, leaving many to speculate about addiction though the nature of his use remains unclear.
During the livestream, Alvan traced part of his emotional decline to relationship struggles, referencing an ex, Njeri, whom he claimed left him despite his devotion. He also admitted to smoking for eight years, a coping habit he says developed during his lowest moments.
“Everybody loves my content, but I don’t have the privilege of being secretly tired,” he said. “This is the day… I know He [Jesus] has visited me.”
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